Flirting or Don't Let the Sun Catch You Crying

Dreamer: Angela, 17, North American

I was in school talking and flirting with some guy that liked me and I thought it was Harvey (the person I like); I didn't notice it wasn't him until my lunch period was over. Then I recognized Harvey walk by. I was in my prom dress for some reason only it wasn't the actual dress I wore to the prom, it was another dress I have that I've had since I was little. He walked right past me and didn't even notice me. I got really frustrated but pretended like I didn't care and kept walking. Then I went to the office for some reason and saw him again. He ignored me again. I came out and he wasn't there.

Next thing I knew the roof started leaking 'cause it was raining out.

The water got on my dress and I freaked out. I ran to my next class and noticed a garden where there was just a hall. The garden was dark and wet. I was going to go in it but ran into one of my friends saying that school was out early because of the rain destroying the roof. For some reason I felt it was my fault it was raining. I went outside and all I can remember is that it was sunny.

One factor might be the fact that Harvey is flirting with girls a lot in school. He flirts with all my friends. I don't know if I'm mad at him or my friends. All I know is it pisses me off. He is supposed to be my really good friend yet he treats me like shit. I love him to death and he says he loves me, but I fear he just says such things to keep me around. I think I'm the only one that actually cares about him and would give him anything. My biggest fear is me leaving and him not caring.

Please write back with an interpretation. It would really help.

Mr. Hagen's Reply: Flirting or Don't Let the Sun Catch You Crying

"The greatest harm done to the human race has been done by the poets; they keep filling people's heads with delusions of love."
--- Ingrid Bergman to Gregory Peck in Alfred Hitchcock's Spellbound


Everyone needs attention and if we don't get it, we feel rejected. How we see ourselves and how others see us shapes our thoughts, feelings and dreams. You have metaphorically divided (in psychological parlance a defence mechanism known as splitting) your self-image into what is inside your Self from how you present your Self to others outside.

What you see inside is rain, a metaphor for crying and sadness, and what you let others see outside is sunshine, a metaphor for happiness. Repressing what you feel inside, which seems to include rejection, betrayal, anger and sadness, is a recipe for adolescent depression. From a popular music perspective the song Don't Let the Sun Catch You Crying by Gerry and the Pacemakers expresses the sentiment. Another song that seems to fit your dream is B J Thomas Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head.

Is attention love? Is flirting love? Is how you look love? For most adolescents the paths of love are emotionally treacherous. Many individuals believe that "love is blind". That the romantic passions can only lead to misperceptions of the objects of their fantasies, thereby entangling the individuals in a web of desire. Or so they say. The love potion and cupid's arrow point to the hypnotic spell of love's mating call and its various destinies and destinations. Ambiguous messages are the ploys of young inexperienced lovers, whose games of deception, play acting, coyness and subterfuge are the stuff of poetry: love's tragedy in all its resulting darkness of hate and sadness. Many "myths of love" can only lead to "love sickness".

Accessing the truth can sober an individual from the intoxicating effects of love's passions and its vicissitudes.

Some literature that might help:

  • Janet Kizziar, "The Search for Acceptance"
  • James F. Masterson, "The Search for the Real Self"
  • Jane Goldberg, "The Dark Side of Love: The positive role of our negative feelings--anger, jealousy, and hate"

Hope these thoughts are of help and provide some insight,
Mark H.

All material Copyright 2006 International Institute for Dream Research. All rights reserved.