Waiting for Someone Better? -or- Cheating on your Mind

Ammi 24, Mongolian

I have a boyfriend, we have relationship during 3 years. We have really good relationship. People always said you're lucky because he is so honest person something like that. But I frequently dream about he's cheating me. Almost one or two time a week. But actually I don't think I'm lucky or so. I know he's gentle handsome smart. But he's younger than me. So i always tell him if you fall in love another girl just let me know something like that. Because I always waiting someome who better than him. Now I really don't understand about my dream. it means he's cheater or I'm want to him cheat me, so to end our relationship?

Mr Hagen's Reply: Love's End in Mongolia -or- Waiting for someone better?

You want him to let you "know" if he falls in love with someone else?

It sounds as if the relationship is an insecure one. You state that you are waiting for someone better, however you say he is "honest, gentle, hardsome and smart." You don't say why you're looking for someone "better?" The cheating may not be cheating, instead it may that you are not being honest with him or youself and therefore you are being deceitful. You may be saying that you are not in love with him.

Meaning is very difficult to decipher when deceit and deception are involved. It could "mean" a variety of things as you yourself say. You want him to cheat, which would end the relationship. It could mean you are jealous. It could simply mean that you need to be honest where the relationship is going. Perhaps that's just the point, if you were honest, it may mean the end of the relationship. Both men and women often report to their partner after they have been caught or confessed cheating that "it meant nothing." 

Is waiting for someone better, not in some way cheating? We live in a culture where cheating and deceit are pervasive. In sports, in finances, in school, in intimate relationships cheating has become a cultural norm.  In such a culture authenticity and honesty are values that are unaffordable. Many dreams received by the International Institute underscore this fact. Working in a child psychiatic facility, taught me that children learn self-deception at an early age. Hiding the truth from others and themselves becomes an automatic defensive reflex. I would go so far in saying in agreement with Friedrich Nietzsche and Michel Foucault that deception and deceit is the psychological motor of psychopathology. The truth is never completely lost, it always surfaces anxiously in our dreams.

From a popular music culture perspective Gary Puckett and the Union Gap Woman, Woman fits the sentiment of your dream. 

Hope this provides some insight,

Mark H

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