Cry Me a River -or- Who Will Write the History of Tears?

Jenny, 23

My boyfriend works in the hotel business and in my dream I went to his work to take him lunch and the front desk girl said that he was not at work to day, but she said he was at the hotel. SO I went to the room that she told me to and I found out that there was a girl in the room with him, then he started cussing at me and I ran out of the hotel crying and then I woke up.

What does this mean? We have a great relationship so I don't understand why I keep having dreams that he is cheating on me we have been dating for 2 and a half years now! Please tell me what this means.

Mr Hagen's Reply: Jealousy -or- Flight from Committment?

"Who will write the history of tears?" Roland Barthes

Crying is a universal human behaviour. At birth, most of us came into the world crying. We weep at weddings, at funerals, we cry when our feelings are hurt, we shed tears when watching a film. We can also find ourselves crying in dreams much more regularly than we might expect. There is no other place in the world that allows us to express our true feelings than in our dreams. Most of us learn to hide our tears as a means to control the feelings we reveal to others. Other interpretations (Don't Let the Sun Catch You Crying) posted at the IIDR website attest to this fact. From a popular music perspective, Julie London's Cry Me a River (watch dream like music video), Roy Orbison Crying, Luba Everytime I See Your Picture I Cry, Nazareth Love Hurts, and REM Everybody Hurts fits the sentiment of your dream.

In literature, we find the page soggy with what Shakespeare's Hamlet called; the "fruitful river in the eye". Goethe The Sorrows of Werther, tells us via his protagonist's (Werther's) writing about his beloved; "Oh, if only I could fall on your neck and could describe with a thousand joyous tears all the emotions that are storming through my heart." The so-called tear jerker film such as Affair to Remember, Love Story, Beaches, The Prince of Tides, Bridges of Madison County (see film trailer) and Titanic are all films which move us to tears. In The Wizard of Oz the Tin Man cries until he begins to rust. In The Bucket List one of the things that the two protagonists Carter Chambers (Morgan Freeman) and Edward Cole (Jack Nicholson) want to do before they "kick the bucket" is laugh until they cry. Their wish is fulfilled towards the end of the film, just before Carter dies (see video clip).

In your dream you evidently feel betrayed by your boyfriend, this is a risk we all take when in a relationship. There are a number of ways to read your dream. You appear to be asking whether to doubt the commitment of your boyfriend to your relationship, or an alternate reading of your dream could indicate that you have problems with jealousy and are apprehensive about being betrayed. These are questions only you and your boyfriend can answer.

Hope these thoughts are of some help,

Some literature of interest;

Barbara Ehrenreich, The Hearts of Men: American Dreams and the Flight from Commitment

Nancy Friday, Jealousy



All material Copyright 2006 International Institute for Dream Research. All rights reserved.